someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
