The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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