Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
