this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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