grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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