Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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