Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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