we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
