According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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