I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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