She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
