I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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