i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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