The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
