The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
