I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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