i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
