she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
