i would punch a child for taco bell
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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