i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
