Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
