He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want to have your abortion
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
