Say something about gay babies.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
