so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
