About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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