Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
