Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
