haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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