Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
