Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I can text with my tongue
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
