I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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