Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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