I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
