haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
