i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
