you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
