he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
