He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
