Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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