First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
