if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
