hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
