Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
