My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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