Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
