So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
