Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
