Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All the doctor said was why
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
