What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We got so high we made milksteak
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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