Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize